The Fifth Mob

Shoot.

I had really felt proud of myself at the Flash Mob tonight, snapping pictures and rapidly uploading them to my moblog. I saw professional reporters there snapping photos, and all I could think was, "who's scooping this story, pals?" Sadly, I returned home to discover that none of the photos I'd taken went online. My fault. I recently renamed my moblog, and I forgot to update my cellphone's address book.

Anyway, the pics are up now, and here they are for your approval. Being a July-born flash mobber, I dutifully showed up at Bourbon Street at 6:55 pm on the button and muscled my way to the back, where my "contact" gave me the instructions, this time with an illustrative map of nearby Central Park.

We were told to go to the edge of the park and stand on a ridge facing Central Park West and the American Museum of Natural History. There, we were told to begin making realistic bird calls that, over the course of our 8 minute mob, would increase in volume and frequency (and decrease in realism) until we crescendoed in shouts of "Nature! Nature!"

I considered hanging back until closer to the allotted time of 7:18 pm, but previous experience had taught me that the vast majority of the mobbers a) don't bother to synchronize watches and b) don't really care if they're early and ruin the effect. In other words, the action would already be starting. Lo and behold, by 7:10 pm, a steady stream of hipsters was coursing along 81st from Columbus towards the park.

As I had suspected, thirty or fourty people were already on the ridge when I got there, stationed right out of view of the road. Aesthetically, it was a good spot, ten or fifteen feet off the ground and facing the road where anyone could see. A good vantage point. Unfortunately, there wasn't anyone around. Central Park West is usually deserted at that hour. I don't understand why the Flash Mob organizers keep picking these out-of-the-way spots. There are certainly enough locations with heavy crowds of passersby in this city. What's the point of inexplicably congregating on an empty street?

Bored, I circled around and caught some mobbers hopping the wall and heading straight for the ridge. Clever of them.

By 7:15 pm, there were a whole lot of people there. I'd say maybe two hundred, and there wasn't much space for them. I realized that only about fifty people would be able to see the crowd's reaction to the mob, while everyone else stood behind them in the press of bodies. I decided to leave the Mob and head down to the street to get pictures instead. The instructions explicitly warned us not to take photos until halfway through but a) the press didn't care about that and b) there was no one else watching us, anyway.

As you can see, not much of an audience. It seemed like fewer pros this time, too, thankfully. I think the reporters have gotten the idea already. I think I have too. These mob locations need to be chosen more intelligently.

Around 7:18 pm, people got up there and started making bird calls. You could tell people were having a good time, but it all felt pretty hollow considering no one was watching.

The mobbers were much better this time about clearing out at the allotted time. Last time everybody lingered far longer than they were supposed to, heavily diluting the "Flash Mob Effect". The whole point is to have the mob form and disperse, inexplicably. Of course, the Flash Mob Effect is already killed by the reporters and photographers and the endless chatting and networking that goes on before, during, and after the mob, but hanging around for half an hour afterwards takes the "Flash" right out of it.

If the next mob doesn't take place someplace a little bit more populated, I'm going to stop going to these things. They make me feel dirty. People were making a bee-line off the ridge and into the arms of interviewers. It's not like we're saving peoples lives here.